The household meme

So, that household meme doing the rounds:

It may not (or it may) have escaped your notice that I find this meme rather nosey. In fact, I've pretty much decided that bogwitch is right, and the only reason this meme was created is that Someone Out There wants to know what weapons you keep in your house (AK47, rocket launcher, stout walking stick, whatever) and where you stash your valuables so they can neutralise one and snag the other when they burgle you.

That being so, I've decided to let a (fictional but equally suspicious) fellow Brit answer the questions for me.

Bad language behind cut.

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