The Calendar Post

[shapinglight]

As I'm still at home, (though feeling a little better, thanks to everyone for your concern), I thought since today is the 1st of February, I'd get on with writing the calendar post.

Also, always feel a bit squirmy and embarrassed about this, but the banner is so pretty, I won something in the Rogue Poet's Awards. I'm especially proud of this because it's the first 'proper' Spike/Buffy I've ever written.



Anyway, last month in the calendar posts, this happened. Now read on.



Having been pesterered into looking through hundreds had a wonderful time finding a suitable photograph of Buffy for the Two Year Wedding/Civil Partnership Anniversary Album he's compiling for his beloved partner - "You were the wife!" - "No, you were the wife!" - "Well, I was a good wife!" - beats off intrusion from another fandom with a baseball bat ahem! Spike, Angel has moved on to his next candidate (was going to write 'victim' and strike it out there but decided there's already been too many 'strikes' in this post), Willow.

Willow: Are you sure Spike's gonna want a picture of me? It's not like we're all that close, though he did try to kill me once. (sighs nostalgically). Also, are you sure you don't want some camomile tea? Your aura looks awfully cranky.
Angel: (jumps and stops drumming his fingers on the table-top) Er- no thanks. Camomile makes me bilious. And of course Spike would want your picture. He'll want everyone's picture. At least, that's what Buffy says (glances over his shoulder looking scared).
Willow (doubtful): Well - okay, then. Also, if you don't mind my asking, why are you doing this for your second anniversary? Is it, like, some vampire mating ritual thing?
Angel: Not exactly, though I guess, with vampires being kind of naturally bad-tempered, if you can get through to your second anniversary without dusting each other, you know you might be in for the long haul.
Willow: Aww! That's so sweet. Is that why Spike tried to dust Harmony back when we were in college? Not that I don't understand him wanting to - because, Harmony?
Angel: Yeah, he was only being kind. Not even try to dust her before the two years were up and she'd have gotten the wrong message completely.
Willow: That's so cute and thoughtful. :Blinks: Or else totally gross and insensitive. Let's get on with the photos, shall we?
Angel: (puzzled) Sure.
:He picks up the one that's the top small picture in the calendar, of Willow circa seasons 5/6 wearing a ghastly flower-print top and with rather an odd hairstyle: How about this one?
Willow: (shudders) No way! I look awful. I'm not surprised Tara broke up with me looking like that. I would've broken up with me if I could.
Angel: Um - okay. How about this one? :points to a picture of dorky, long-haired season 2/3 Willow:
Willow: (horrified) Where did you get that? :snatches it off him: I look like a contestant in a Dress Like a Skanky Schoolgirl competition. Spike would hate it.
Angel: (clears his throat and pretends he wasn't looking at Willow's legs in the picture) You're right, of course. He'd be shocked. :He snatches up the first photograph that comes to hand:
How about this? (Looks at photo)Huh? When did you have black hair? (for the third small picture is of Dark Willow from BtVS season 6)
Willow: (embarrassed) Oh, that was my Goth period. Cute, huh? Well, at least it is now it's been retconned and I never killed anyone after all. You think Spike would like that?
Angel: (brightly) Maybe it'll remind him of Drusilla - or not so much, what with the not killing thing? (thinks again) Anyway, I don't want him reminded of Drusilla. He's married to me now.
In the end, they decide on a nice photo of Willow which comes from circa season 4 (I think) and in which her hair looks very pretty indeed.
Willow: Spike'll totally love that. It's from around the time when he tried to kill me. :Sighs nostalgially again: He was so sweet about it when he couldn't bite me because of the chip - said that he totally would have if he could.:muses: It kind of gave me a confidence boost, you know? And not long after that I met Tara and - bam!
Angel: (speechless) Um -
Willow: (realises what she's just said) Which is not me saying Spike turned me gay or anything - because of course, he could never do - (realises to whom she's speaking)-that. I need to go. Wicca business.
Angel: Understood.

How will Angel get on with his next - oh, what the hell! -victim candidate? Can the story be twisted yet again to make Spike responsible for everything that happened in BtVS ever? Tune in next month to find out.

Comments

[timeofchange.livejournal.com]

A well-deserved reward for a wonderful story!

[shapinglight]

Thank you. That's very kind of you, and I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on the pretty award! And Hee! to Angel here.

[shapinglight]

Yes, poor old Angel! It's just too easy to make fun of him, poor bloke!

[calturner.livejournal.com]

Oh, a very well deserved win! I loved that story. :D

[shapinglight]

Thanks, Cal. Very kind of you to say.

[elisi]

First of all LOTS of congratulations on your pretty banner (*SO* well deserved!). Adore that story.

And second I do love your brain. The Willow/Angel banter will keep me amused for ages! :)

[shapinglight]

The Willow/Angel banter will keep me amused for ages! :)

Poor Angel! He finds this sort of thing completely excruciating. It's enough to drive a man to brooding.

[gillo]

Well, at least it is now it's been retconned and I never killed anyone after all.

::chortles::

So Willow was never truly evil, which is OK because Joss loves AH more than any of his other actors, except perhaps Tommy.

Lovely dialogue. But no beating of Captain John with baseball bat or anything else.

Unless I'm there to watch.

And many congrats on the win - well-deserved.

[shapinglight]

So Willow was never truly evil, which is OK because Joss loves AH more than any of his other actors, except perhaps Tommy.

So it would appear. Oh well, I suppose if anyone has the right to totally ruin one of the best story arcs in the show (Dark Willow), it's Joss.

Oops! Some bitterness creeping in there.

[dark-amia.livejournal.com]

Well, at least it is now it's been retconned and I never killed anyone after all.
*snorts*

This was fun (had to go back to see what it was all about but I get it now) If only they still made the Spike calendars *sigh*

Congratulations on the win. It was a great fic.

[shapinglight]

If only they still made the Spike calendars *sigh*

Yes, if only! Mind you, I suppose we were lucky to get three of them.

Glad you enjoyed the story.

[candleanfeather.livejournal.com]

Congratulations for the award. Your story deserved it. The descriptions of hell as a petty administration was totaly hilarious. Excellent and full of imagination.

That's so cute and thoughtful. :Blinks: Or else totally gross and insensitive. Let's get on with the photos, shall we? Oh Willow!! :D

Oh, that was my Goth period. Cute, huh? Well, at least it is now it's been retconned and I never killed anyone after all. Goth period, well, that's a way to see it. LOL

Can the story be twisted yet again to make Spike responsible for everything that happened in BtVS ever? But, but Spike was responsible for absolutely everything (even before he was created)and then for even more : the plague in Europe in 1348 for exemple. And I can prove it, it was the black plague, you know, and everybody knows Spike likes black, and Joss said so... Ahem!

Do you feel better today or is your cold still strong?

[shapinglight]

The descriptions of hell as a petty administration was totaly hilarious. Excellent and full of imagination.

Thank you, love. That's very kind. Also, my cold is better today, thank you.

But, but Spike was responsible for absolutely everything (even before he was created)and then for even more : the plague in Europe in 1348 for exemple. And I can prove it, it was the black plague, you know, and everybody knows Spike likes black, and Joss said so... Ahem!

This is true. Not just Plague, he's also responsible for Famine, War and Death - also Global Warming. Everyone knows this.

[jamalov29.livejournal.com]

Congrats for a gorgeous tale.

[shapinglight]

Thank you.

[hello-spikey.livejournal.com]

*giggles helplessly* Oh the willowage!

"my Goth period" hoooot!

[shapinglight]

I suppose Vampire Willow is actually more Goth-y, but never mind.

[flake-sake.livejournal.com]

*ggg* That was brilliant.

I look like a contestant in a Dress Like a Skanky Schoolgirl competition. Spike would hate it.
That one made me giggle aloud. Of course Spike would never want anything from skanky schoolgirls :)

Edit: And congrats on the award. (Argh, distract me with fiction and I forget about everything)

[shapinglight]

Of course Spike would never want anything from skanky schoolgirls :)

Quite right! He's a model of restraint and moral wotsit.

[ex_peasant441]

Can the story be twisted yet again to make Spike responsible for everything that happened in BtVS ever?
Oh I do hope so.

LOL, vg as ever.

And glad to hear you're a bit better today.

[shapinglight]

Oh I do hope so.

Well, since according to some fans, Spike/Spuffy is responsible for everything bad since forever, it shouldn't be hard.

Death? That's one of his. Also, Plague, Famine, War, Global Warming and Taxes.

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on the award - funny funny story!

[shapinglight]

Thank you.

[sueworld2003.livejournal.com]

*hoots* Wonderful!

And congrats on the award. Very much deserved!

[shapinglight]

Thanks, Sue.

[diachrony.livejournal.com]

I just loooove how you make Angel squirm in your calendar posts. It's the cutest mental movie. ::giggles throughout::

And congratulations on the award! You deserve it!

[shapinglight]

I just loooove how you make Angel squirm in your calendar posts.

Poor bloke! It's too easy really, and thanks.

[yourlibrarian]

Congrats on the win!

[shapinglight]

Thank you.

[2maggie2.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear you are on the mend!

Terrific entry in the Calendar series. Made me laugh.

Congrats on the award! Well-deserved!!

[shapinglight]

Glad it made you laugh. Poor old Angel! He's so easy to tease.

[kathyh]

Coming late to the party here but many congrats on the very well-deserved award for what was one of my favourite stories of last year.

Can the story be twisted yet again to make Spike responsible for everything that happened in BtVS ever?

I have no doubts *g*. That was adorable (particularly the retcon line). Thanks for the laugh.

[shapinglight]

Glad you enjoyed it. I'm afraid BtVS season 8 has made this parody stuff easy.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Oh, I just found the calendar posts! (I'm a little late to the Buffy buffet.) I got my first-ever Buffy calendar for xmas, and now I can play too!

Willow: (embarrassed) Oh, that was my Goth period. Cute, huh? Well, at least it is now it's been retconned and I never killed anyone after all. You think Spike would like that?

Heh. Love it. I also think it's really lame that they have the Vamp Willow quote under a picture of Dark Willow--I can't help but think that whoever assembled the thing this year didn't know the difference between the two.

Thanks for this. Fun! And belated congrats on your win. I read HIH over the holidays and enjoyed it so much that I'm going to go back and read it again right now.

[Edited b/c LJ keeps eating my post and doing naughty things with italics.]

[shapinglight]

Thank you. I'm very glad you enjoyed Heroes in Hell and this too. I agree it does look as if whoever compiled this calendar didn't know much about the show, but never mind. At least there is a calendar. I thought last year's was going to be the last one.