Writing stuff again

[shapinglight]

Okay, I have thought of something else to do with writing. This has arisen yet again because of posting stuff on Ao3.

Speaking of which, I started the revision of Brief Encounter. So far, it's more tidying than anything, and really, I suspect that's all it'll be in the end. I'm not going to re-write anything major.

That's not the case, though, for one of my favourites of my own stories, Heroes in Hell. I like this story a lot, but I've had it in the back of my mind that there's a particular conversation in the middle of it that's rather problematic, and could be very triggery and upsetting for some people. I would undoubtedly write it differently were I writing it now.

On the other hand, re-writing it to make it more acceptable probably will be a major job. I don't know what to do. It's one of my best stories (apart from this bit), and now I feel I shouldn't stick it up on Ao3 at all. :(

Opinions?

I haven't had any luck writing anything new today, btw. I managed one scene of my Spike/Giles WIP yesterday. If I manage to finish that this year I'll be ecstatic, because currently it seems like a huge undertaking.

ETA: I think I'm going to have to ask some kind person to actually read the story, see if they can spot what I'm talking about and tell me what they think.

Comments

[rahirah]

Well, Buffy can be kind of insensitive and thoughtless at times. But if you think that this isn't a sort of thoughtlessness that fits her character, and it's bothering you to the point where you don't want to post the story in its current state, then rewriting it seems reasonable.

ETA: Having given it a quick re-read, I'm not sure which passage you're worried about. The only thing I can think of that falls under the usual main big trigger warnings is Buffy talking about the attempted rape, and while her forgiving Spike for it may be controversial in fandom, I'm not sure how it might make Buffy look insensitive. Though I suppose someone who was determined to be offended might possibly interpret it as Buffy dismissing the suffering of Spike's other victims? Or as rape apology of some sort? But the AR is such a long-standing debate in BtVS fandom I'm not sure that's what you're talking about.

[shapinglight]

ETA: Having given it a quick re-read, I'm not sure which passage you're worried about. The only thing I can think of that falls under the usual main big trigger warnings is Buffy talking about the attempted rape, and while her forgiving Spike for it may be controversial in fandom, I'm not sure how it might make Buffy look insensitive. Though I suppose someone who was determined to be offended might possibly interpret it as Buffy dismissing the suffering of Spike's other victims? Or as rape apology of some sort? But the AR is such a long-standing debate in BtVS fandom I'm not sure that's what you're talking about.

No, you've hit it in one. I re-read it again myself after making this post, and...I don't know.

When I wrote it, I was determined to show that I wasn't under any illusions about Spike's past, which is why I stuck in that bit about him being forced to watch his crimes on television as a sort of punishment. And Buffy's initial reaction to that scene is fine. It's what she says in the next scene, where she's trying to cajole Spike into having sex with her, that's the problem.

Fandom has changed since I wrote this story. I approach all my old works as if I were this 'determined to be offended' person. And I'm just...I dunno. Did you find it offensive?

[rahirah]

No, not at all - I mean, I don't believe that Spike with a soul is really a different person, but I think it's perfectly reasonable that Buffy believes that. And I think that it's pretty clear that by the end of S7 Buffy has forgiven Spike - whether she's in love with him is up in the air for me, but she's definitely forgiven him.

IMO anyone who's going to be offended by Buffy forgiving Spike is going to be offended by the whole idea of a Spuffy story to begin with. The only thing they'd be happy with is her spitting in his face and leaving him to his damnation.

If it really worries you, maybe just change a word or two to make it clear she's only forgiving him for his crimes against her - it's not within her power to do more than that, anyway.

[shapinglight]

That's good advice, as always from you. Thanks. I don't really want to fiddle with this story at all otherwise, not even to take out the 'howevers', but I might try and tweak a couple of lines of Buffy's dialogue in that scene.

I think I know what to do now. I have to change the line where she says, "Speaking as one of those victims, I forgive you," to something that makes it clear she knows she can't speak for anyone else. She's just speaking for herself.

Then there's another line I have to change slightly. I hope after that it'll be okay. Though I'll still stick a warning on it.