(no subject)

[shapinglight]

Okay, said I was going to spam, and since this subject is horribly embarrassing for me, I might as well get it off my chest rightaway.

Ahem! I am a feedback whore.



Not that it's True Confessions Week on LJ, or anything, but since I was brought up to think that trying to attract attention to yourself was un-British or unfeminine, or un-something, admitting this is a lot harder than the subject (which is very trivial, I know) actually warrants.

I thought at first I would try and pretend to be all scientific and impersonal and put up some kind of poll so you could all join me in admitting you were also feedback whores, or else take the moral high ground and say getting feedback was a matter of indifference to you. However, implicating you all in my horrible character flaw didn't seem very fair, so I didn't do it.

Anyway, I am one. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was like peasant_ who not only doesn't like getting feedback, but actively discourages it by making it as hard as possible for people to give her any and glaring at them a lot when they do, but I'm not. Getting told people have enjoyed something I've written is one of the best feelings in the world for me. Likewise, not getting any feedback, or not much feedback, for something I've written makes me grumpy, and I have to own up to it.

:sigh: Oh well. Never claimed to be perfect. Should I have done the poll after all, or have I embarrassed myself enough already? Or, indeed, are you asking yourself, what on earth is wrong with wanting/liking to receive feedback? It's a British/women's/old person's problem. Get over it.

Comments

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

I also crave feedback, but feel it would be presumptious and needy to actually say so in public. So it might be a British thing, but it's not just women. :-) After all, if you've spent a lot of time working on something, why wouldn't you be unhappy if everybody else apparently ignored your efforts?

[shapinglight]

So it might be a British thing, but it's not just women. :-)

I had suspected as much. I wonder if it's generational too?

:looks around for a young British person to ask. Realises that you might well be one:

After all, if you've spent a lot of time working on something, why wouldn't you be unhappy if everybody else apparently ignored your efforts?

Quite true. It's only human nature, which is why it's so odd that so many belief systems condemn the idea of wanting praise as Evil! and Bad! and Wrong! Or maybe that's specifically a Judaeo-Christian thing, or even just a Christian thing? Or a Catholic thing?

I should just shut up.

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

Realises that you might well be one

I wish... on the day I was born, The Beatles were number one in the charts and men hadn't yet walked on the Moon (although they had been into space).


It sounds more Protestant than Catholic to me. The Puritan view is that salvation is through faith alone, not doing good works, and so you shouldn't do good works in the expectation of receiving benefit or praise for them. :-)

Plus there's the whole British (public school) thing of distrusting enthusiasm, keeping a stiff upper lip, deminstrating "effortless superiority" without actually appearing to lift a finger... people who go out hunting for praise are challenging that view.

[shapinglight]

I wish... on the day I was born, The Beatles were number one in the charts and men hadn't yet walked on the Moon (although they had been into space).

Well, you're still younger than me. However, I suppose you don't quite qualify as a 'young British person.' I should ask my daughter. In fact, in the interests of 'science', I should probably ask her and her boyfriend to see if their opinions on whether or not wanting praise where you feel it's merited is a bad thing or not varies according to sex. Of course, I would then have to factor in the fact that my daughter is my daughter and may share my views on such things because I indoctrinated her.

It sounds more Protestant than Catholic to me . Oh, I dunno. I want to a Catholic primary school run by a bunch of very scary nuns and they doled out praise like misers. We're all sinners, you get your reward in heaven etc, etc.

Definitely agree about the public school thing. Even though I never went to one (and girls' ones probably don't count anyway).