(no subject)

[shapinglight]

Okay, said I was going to spam, and since this subject is horribly embarrassing for me, I might as well get it off my chest rightaway.

Ahem! I am a feedback whore.



Not that it's True Confessions Week on LJ, or anything, but since I was brought up to think that trying to attract attention to yourself was un-British or unfeminine, or un-something, admitting this is a lot harder than the subject (which is very trivial, I know) actually warrants.

I thought at first I would try and pretend to be all scientific and impersonal and put up some kind of poll so you could all join me in admitting you were also feedback whores, or else take the moral high ground and say getting feedback was a matter of indifference to you. However, implicating you all in my horrible character flaw didn't seem very fair, so I didn't do it.

Anyway, I am one. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was like peasant_ who not only doesn't like getting feedback, but actively discourages it by making it as hard as possible for people to give her any and glaring at them a lot when they do, but I'm not. Getting told people have enjoyed something I've written is one of the best feelings in the world for me. Likewise, not getting any feedback, or not much feedback, for something I've written makes me grumpy, and I have to own up to it.

:sigh: Oh well. Never claimed to be perfect. Should I have done the poll after all, or have I embarrassed myself enough already? Or, indeed, are you asking yourself, what on earth is wrong with wanting/liking to receive feedback? It's a British/women's/old person's problem. Get over it.

Comments

[gabrielleabelle.livejournal.com]

*gives you feedback*

Huh. Well, I do love getting feedback, though I'm more interested in prompting a discussion and seeing different viewpoints. It does give me a warm fuzzy feeling that something I wrote/presented provokes such interesting thoughts in people.

But if I don't get much/any feedback...*shrug*. Try again next time.

I would give you assurances that there's nothing wrong with wanting feedback as it's a natural desire in a social environment but I doubt that's what you're looking for so I'll just leave my comment as it. ;)

[hello-spikey.livejournal.com]

Oo! Oo! I'm a feedback whore! *strains arm waving*

er... but that cat was out of the bag already, wasn't it? (And may I say I've been enjoying all the "Poetry! Pure Poetry!" comments.)

Moreso, if I don't get any feedback, I'm nervous! Afraid I'm unloved! I refresh incessantly until a fic gets its first comment, then I can relax, sure I've not embarrassed myself. Much.

[sueworld2003.livejournal.com]

Oh I'm a complete lj slag I'm afraid. Was right from the start and I doubt that I'll change any time soon either. *g*

Thing is fandom can't florish in a vacuum, so unless somebody tells somebody else they like/dislike something, well then people just think nobody's out there and just give in.

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

I also crave feedback, but feel it would be presumptious and needy to actually say so in public. So it might be a British thing, but it's not just women. :-) After all, if you've spent a lot of time working on something, why wouldn't you be unhappy if everybody else apparently ignored your efforts?

[dragonflymuse.livejournal.com]

I don't get a lot of feedback, no matter what I post (with the exception, sometimes, of icons). It is kind of disheartening, but then again I can't blame folks for not chiming in on every post I make. I mean, I read every post on my f-list, because I care about the folks on my list and want to know how things are going for them, but I don't always comment, unless I have something to say that the first dozen commenters haven't touched on.

You haven't embarrassed yourself :) Lots of folks I know here have had the same feelings at one time or another, including me. Sometimes I feel like posting something outrageous just to see if anyone would notice LOL!

[danna7001.livejournal.com]

what on earth is wrong with wanting/liking to receive feedback?

Let's see, what is wrong with wanting to connect with people, wanting to know that your work is appreciated, or wanting to know what works and what doesn't work for your readers? Not a thing, darlin'. Why should you even question it?

What I fail to understand is why people don't leave comments or don't answer them. Why be online if other people don't matter? Those people could just as well operate on their own hard drive.

[jans-intentions.livejournal.com]

I love getting it since it weaves itself into the story and gives me stuff to think about, or just old fashioned 'get on with it, people want more.' In fact, I'm working with someone now betaing and I think that my comments act that way, give the curiosity and the lift and the questions needed to continue. I know in my critique group for my original work I'm grateful whenever I put up a chapter and hear what people thought, and that's just a small handful of people.

But I think since I'm a serial story teller primarily it helps.

[sammywol.livejournal.com]

Feeds the addiction. Why is this a flaw? Are you wandering the streets of New Orleans comparing the number of bead necklaces your boobs get compared to everyone else? ... if you are then sorry to have interrupted and I'm sure they're lovely ... I think it is perfectly fair to want feedback to something you have spent hard won creative energies on.

[jamalov29.livejournal.com]

It's certainly not a British/women/old person problem . I find it natural to want feedback and I do believe that each and every writer need some validation /appreciation of what they write and post , even if they don't say it out loud ( at the exception of a few people perhaps )
Getting told people have enjoyed something I've written is one of the best feelings in the world for me. I 'm sure you wouldn't be surprised to hear that so many people think alike around you. I would like to add that the feeling can be the same even if you're not a writer. I don't post fiction but I happen to share my thoughts and I 'm always deeply appreciative when lj folks come and comment, give their opinion - and I may feel disappointed if some friends I expected to get comments from don't bother.
So yes feedback is important and there's nothing wrong in admitting it.

[ringthebells]

*waves* I'm one too!

[shapinglight]

though I'm more interested in prompting a discussion and seeing different viewpoints.

I would like to like that, but it's bloody exhausting. Plus if anyone were to come along and say horrid things about Spike, I probably wouldn't cope with it well. I do admire people who can do it, though.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for in this post. At least I know I'm not alone, though it does make me wonder, why, if wanting praise is so natural, so many belief systems seem to be set up to discourage that.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Apreciating getting feedback, which I think is what you do, is great, and to be expected. A feedback whore, to me is someone who blackmails people into giving feedback (I will not write another chapter until I get......), or who takes without giving.

No I don't think you are a feedback whore, they tend to be very selfish, which I don't think you are.

[shapinglight]

er... but that cat was out of the bag already, wasn't it?

Heh! I think that post of yours might have been a bit of a giveaway, yes. I do love your handy copy-and-paste comments, though. Great idea - though I'm happy to get even a ':)'

Your behaviour on posting fic sounds pretty like mine. I try not to do it, but I can't help myself.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Feedback on fic is awesome... especially if people tell you specifically what they like (and don't like! I love constructive criticism and someone just gave me some in email letting me know what didn't work for them in a story.)

Admitting too that getting praise is both really awesome and also embarrassing. Compliments are embarrassing in general for me. IDK why. I'm not even British. :D

But most readers are not going to comment, even if they like something, after the first few days following a post. LJ is weird like that. People feel kind of stalker-y commenting on older posts or something.

[shapinglight]

Thing is fandom can't florish in a vacuum, so unless somebody tells somebody else they like/dislike something, well then people just think nobody's out there and just give in.

Quite true, because after all, what other reward is there? I suppose I have this guilty feeling that the act of being creative should be reward enough, but that's just silly, and certainly not peasant_'s reason for not wanting f/b. Those are very specific and unique to her.

[shapinglight]

So it might be a British thing, but it's not just women. :-)

I had suspected as much. I wonder if it's generational too?

:looks around for a young British person to ask. Realises that you might well be one:

After all, if you've spent a lot of time working on something, why wouldn't you be unhappy if everybody else apparently ignored your efforts?

Quite true. It's only human nature, which is why it's so odd that so many belief systems condemn the idea of wanting praise as Evil! and Bad! and Wrong! Or maybe that's specifically a Judaeo-Christian thing, or even just a Christian thing? Or a Catholic thing?

I should just shut up.

[menomegirl.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with wanting/liking to receive feedback. It's perfectly okay.

And you know, people just aren't leaving feedback and/or commenting like they used to. I don't know why this is. It doesn't take much time to write something, even if it's only one line.

[elisi]

Moreso, if I don't get any feedback, I'm nervous! Afraid I'm unloved! I refresh incessantly until a fic gets its first comment, then I can relax, sure I've not embarrassed myself. Much.
This pretty much covers what I was going to say. ('Doesn't anybody love me? Doesn't anybody care about Sid the Sloth?' /Ice Age quote)

ETA: On the other hand I also feel uncomfortable asking for feedback... I mean, I'd happily lie down and beg, but it's not very becoming, is it?

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

Realises that you might well be one

I wish... on the day I was born, The Beatles were number one in the charts and men hadn't yet walked on the Moon (although they had been into space).


It sounds more Protestant than Catholic to me. The Puritan view is that salvation is through faith alone, not doing good works, and so you shouldn't do good works in the expectation of receiving benefit or praise for them. :-)

Plus there's the whole British (public school) thing of distrusting enthusiasm, keeping a stiff upper lip, deminstrating "effortless superiority" without actually appearing to lift a finger... people who go out hunting for praise are challenging that view.

[kitty-poker1.livejournal.com]

Looking on this as a mini-poll, I go with Option ...what on earth is wrong with wanting/liking to receive feedback?

I refresh until my finger is numb until that first comment turns up. It's all very well writing for oneself and being satisfied, and I envy people who can do that, but I need the reassurance that someone enjoys what I've laboured over, that I haven't just wasted an hour (or more likely 12 hours in my case - I'm a slow writer) on something no one but I, and a beta if there's one, will ever see. Hell, I'll take concrit if that's all there is. At least it'll point me in the right direction for the next attempt.

I don't want to write in a vacuum, don't want to gaze with satisfaction at a long list of fics sitting on my journal with no comments. Now I've scared myself! ;)

[twilightofmagic.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd guess 90% at least of people writing stories get pretty down at the mouth if their labours at the keyboard are met with indifference or scant attention. There's nothing quite so motivating to carry on writing as lots of feedback. I've seen lots of reference to low levels of feedback these days though. ::hugs::

[quinara]

I love feedback, but I have the similar (un-British?) thing of never wanting to demand it of people, so I never promote my fic, only post it in one or two places, and then dream that through some sort of miracle all these adoring people will drop out of the sky and say "Ooh...".

Of course, I also hit on the other (British?) thing of not trusting praise when I get it, so I always brush off any nice comments I actually do get. Even though I still want praise. It's basically a never-ending cycle.

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

Hello, my name is Rebcake, and I'm a feedback whore. I know this is true, because I just added a line in my profile saying that people who leave comments are more beautiful than all others. I doubt it will have any effect. Because I did that, it is clear that I am not British. We Yanks are constantly going about saying things like, "Didja like it? Huh? What did you like best?" and "What do you think of this dress?", or my personal favorite, "Tell me more about my eyes." Feedback sluts, the lot of us.

Here's a little thought that might buck you up, though. The creative professionals who will be attending your upcoming fan events are even bigger feedback whores than you or I will ever be! They get actual filthy lucre for the things they do, and they're still coming out to bask in all the positive feedback we fans provide. JM has even said that we (the fans) are the main difference between the kind of work he does, and that of the typical actor on a procedural show. He seems to gain considerable energy from it/us.

So we ought to feel okay about getting a little juice from feedback, ourselves, shouldn't we? Everything needs fuel to keep running. Of course, all this has got me thinking on positive feedback loops, and their many uses in nature and on the interwebs...this could go on all day!

[quinara]

Ack, both of my brackety bits should be "(British?)", sigh. Though that means that the second one should probably become "(also British?)"...

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

FEEDBACK!
GIMME!
GIMME!
GIMME!

And having said that, anyone might be entitled to respond "well write a more popular pairing then!"