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[shapinglight]

Okay, said I was going to spam, and since this subject is horribly embarrassing for me, I might as well get it off my chest rightaway.

Ahem! I am a feedback whore.



Not that it's True Confessions Week on LJ, or anything, but since I was brought up to think that trying to attract attention to yourself was un-British or unfeminine, or un-something, admitting this is a lot harder than the subject (which is very trivial, I know) actually warrants.

I thought at first I would try and pretend to be all scientific and impersonal and put up some kind of poll so you could all join me in admitting you were also feedback whores, or else take the moral high ground and say getting feedback was a matter of indifference to you. However, implicating you all in my horrible character flaw didn't seem very fair, so I didn't do it.

Anyway, I am one. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was like peasant_ who not only doesn't like getting feedback, but actively discourages it by making it as hard as possible for people to give her any and glaring at them a lot when they do, but I'm not. Getting told people have enjoyed something I've written is one of the best feelings in the world for me. Likewise, not getting any feedback, or not much feedback, for something I've written makes me grumpy, and I have to own up to it.

:sigh: Oh well. Never claimed to be perfect. Should I have done the poll after all, or have I embarrassed myself enough already? Or, indeed, are you asking yourself, what on earth is wrong with wanting/liking to receive feedback? It's a British/women's/old person's problem. Get over it.

Comments

[kassto.livejournal.com]

I had very heavy judgments passed on to me by my mother, who was of a generation that didn't believe in praising their children because it would spoil them and give them fat heads. Hence it was very very rare to get praise from her.

I think it is a highly developed social and psychological skill to learn how to ask for what you want — ie to learn how to be assertive about what you need, rather than manipulative, overbearing or passive/aggressive. My mother, like anybody else, likes praise and has deep insecurities, but has a very passive/aggressive way of seeking it. Other people are so desperate for praise that their whole life is geared to getting it. A lot of people who are very successful in the entertainment business are like that, I believe.

So, consider yourself sane, Deborah. xx

[shapinglight]

I had very heavy judgments passed on to me by my mother, who was of a generation that didn't believe in praising their children because it would spoil them and give them fat heads. Hence it was very very rare to get praise from her.

Your mother sounds exactly like mine. I can't really remember her ever praising me when I was a child, though she was a very loving mother in most ways.

A lot of people who are very successful in the entertainment business are like that, I believe.

Oh God, yes! You'd have to be wired a particular way to stand up in front of a lot of people you don't know and declaim/sing, wouldn't you? I know I couldn't do it.

Am glad to be considered sane anyway, if feeling a little shame-faced about this post today.